They're getting bigger...and smarter. Over the last couple of weeks, many cockroaches have made attacks against me and have succeeded in escaping. They know when to strike. As soon as I take my contacts out there seems to be hundreds of little black moving blurs all over the walls. I race to find the Raid, clumsily tripping over the carpet or any other random thing that would not usually be an obstacle. Aiming the can in their general direction I let loose a stream of spray and suddenly they disappear. Either the spray hit them and they fell to the ground or they made a leap of faith and are now relying on the carpet to disguise themselves. Either way, the carpet is like a black hole, leaving me wondering where the stupid things disappear to.
They also like to wake up bright and early for a surprise visit. They love surprises, especially in the shower! The other morning I rolled out of bed, grabbed my towel and headed in to enjoy a nice steamy shower. Thankfully I turned on the water before I climbed in, because as I did, a big ol' roach ran from the drain to safety. All I saw was a black blob moving across the floor of the shower and up the wall. Already naked and not quite feeling running into the room to get the Raid, I took a tissue, picked up that little pervert, and threw him in the toilet. Sayonara buddy! Not even two days later, I was showering and minding my own business when I see something moving along the shower curtain. Guess who was feeling dirty and wanted a shower too? I'm not for sharing the shower.
My favorite of these stories has been long going. I'm convinced it is the same roach, primarily because I don't want to believe we have multiple roaches that are the size of Godzilla. I first saw him in the kitchen. When I laid eyes on him I had to do a double take to make sure it wasn't a small dog. When I realized what it was, I froze. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. I failed. By the time I made it to the closet a foot away to retrieve the Raid, he had disappeared into the cabinet. I frantically opened the doors to find him, but he was gone. I'm convinced there's a door to Narnia through the cabinet. Maybe that's why my food keeps disappearing. And to think I was blaming my roommates. How silly of me!
The second time he made an appearance, I was doing my makeup at my desk. Looking at the mirror I thought I saw something moving behind me. I kept turning around to figure out what it was, but I found nothing. Turns out it was nothing behind me. He was climbing up my wall right in front of my face. He must've known I saw him because he ran and tried to hide behind a decorative lei i have hanging above my desk. Not wanting to ruin my lei, I gingerly moved it aside and captured the roach in a tissue. I underestimated his size. When I pulled the tissue away, the big boy fell to the ground below my desk. I quickly located him and then ran to get my best friend, Raid. I attempted spraying way back there, but the last thing I saw was a little roach butt escaping behind my dresser. I thought maybe the Raid had by chance hit him and he was crawling away to contemplate his crumby life and die. Nope.
A few nights ago, I was the last one to go to sleep. After turning all the lights off, I climbed into bed using my phone's flashlight as a guide. When army crawling across my bunk to my pillow, I noticed yet another black blob. I aimed my light on it, and sure enough, my friend was back wanting to cuddle. I scrambled to find a tissue, but at such heights I could only come across an old crumbly one. I had no faith in the situation. I corralled the little menace away from my bed and over my dresser. I nervously tried to hit him with my tissue a few times, but I missed horribly. When he got over top of my dresser he began to climb on the ceiling and get farther and farther out of reach. Knowing this was my last chance, I reached out and attempted to hit him into the ceiling. It ended up being more of a soft slap and he fell to the ground never to be seen again. Currently he is eating all of our crumbs and growing. He's seeking his revenge.
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