Living with Roommates

10/17/12

I wrote this as a journal for my writing class:

The prompt:

Describe an argument you have been involved in or witnessed recently. What was the issue? What claims were made on each side? What support, if any, was used for these claims?

Recently, I witnessed the most terrifying and idiotic argument of my life. It almost beat out last night's presidential debate. Living on the first floor of the Ohia in dirty Waikiki, you'd expect to have some un-pleasantries. Not only must my roommates and I listen to the sloppy drunks out on the street late at night, but we must also go into epic battle against cockroaches every morning and evening. They use guerilla warfare and wait until we are most vulnerable to attack: groggily wandering to the bathroom in the morning or crawling half-asleep into our bunks at night. We are well equipped with roach spray and traps hidden around our room, but their numbers are still many. 

The other night, my roommate Chelsie spotted one. He was scheming to crawl in bed with Gaby, my other roommate. He sat there, gripping onto the wall above Gaby's bed, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. Gaby crawled up the ladder to the bed to get a closer look. After a five-minute stare down, Chelsie exclaimed, "Are ya gonna kill it?!" The look on Gaby's face could only be described as one of horror. She crawled down from her humble abode and go a tissue. After retrieving my Puffs lotion-filled-amazing-for-sore-noses tissue, she made her way to the battleground. Another five-minute stare down, a lunge, a retreat. Repeat. 

Chelsie exclaims, "Kill the bug!" (With some explicit words removed)*

Gaby replied in her soft little Mexican accent, "I'm scared."

"Of what?!" Chelsie shot back, "It's a bug."

Gaby went on to explain that this wasn't just any cockroach, it was a super duper dangerous cockroach that was magically going to hop out of the tissue, crawl down her arm, up her body, into her mouth and down her esophagus. 

"Gaby...kill the bug." (More explicit words removed)

About fed up with this nonsense, I jumped in with the loudest and scariest voice a girl with a sore throat can have: "GABY, KILL THE BUG! IT'S NOT A FREAKING TYRANNOSAURUS REX! IT'S NOT GOING TO RIP YOUR ARM OFF! NOW KILL THE BUG BEFORE IT CRAWLS AWAY."

"I don't want to. I'm just going to leave it there."

After convincing Gaby the cockroach had plans to snuggle with her during the night and then crawl into her mouth and plant its eggs, she caved

"I'll kill it," she said, voice shaking. Another five-minute stare down. "I'm going to get the roach spray."

"NOO!!!" Chelsie and I both exclaimed. "There's a gap between your bed and the wall. It’s going to fall."

"No it won't," she claimed.

Confident, with roach spray in hand, Gaby approached her opponent. She let her spray loose and the roach fell into the dark abyss beneath her bed and between her dresser and the wall, never to be seen again.

Currently, he is a survivor of Raid and is putting together a large militia to strike back. He's recruiting them from near and far. They will attack. Gaby won't be ready.

*This is a simplified version of the story. The argument really went on for about 20 or so minutes.